It was wednesday and i had a busy weekend aheda of me, so for our new bar this week we decided to just stop in quickly to a place near Natasha’s house called Chaise Lounge. We’re trying to diversify the bars that we check out and see as many different neighborhoods as we can as well as seeing as many different types of bars as we can. This was our first bar in Bernal Heights and also our first lesbian bar. after standing next to the door apprehensively for a second, we walked inside into the sea of women.

the place was packed. i quickly scanned the room to see if Tom and i were the only guys there. there were two other guys in the rom besides us, bot other than that it was all women. Tom and Natasha wanted to bolt immediately, but i said we had to stay for at least 2 drinks. i figure we should give every place a chance right? we got our drinks and went to go huddle by the wall trying to look as inconspicuous as possible.

i gotta admit, all of us felt pretty awkward… and honestly, i’m not really sure why. ok, so everyone there was a lesbian except for us, but that shouldn’t matter right? before you get any weird ideas, none of us are homophobic (lesbophobic?), but still for some reason we all just felt on the spot. were we unwelcome here? did people think it was weird that we came? the thing is… as far as i could tell, no one did anythig or said anything to make us think that this might be the case, and yet we still felt like maybe we should leave. maybe all of it was in our heads?

part of the problem was that usually when we go to bars, we like to people watch. here, people watching just somehow felt wrong. we didnt want people to think that we were there to “gawk at the lesbians"… like we somehow planned this whole thing out just so we could come here and stare. maybe it’s cause of the image of the typical douchebag guy who thinks that lesbians exist solely so they can make out in front of him and entertain him.

so there we were, standing as close to the wall as we could, staring down in to our drinks and trying to not make eye contact. so odd that even though we dont have any weird stereotypical views of lesbians, we were afraid of them thinking that we did, and so felt like we were on the spot. although, is thinking that lesbians would assume that all guys who go into a lesbian bar are there to gawk at them, a stereotype in itself? probably. so, the whole night ended up becoming more of some kind of weird social experiment than a fun night out drinking. as soon as we gupled down our second drinks, we took off.

the funny thing is that some of my closest friends have been lesbians and i’ve hung out with tons of lesbians in my life… and it’s never been a problem. i guess things would have been different if we knew someone there at the bar. then we would have been part of the group and not just spectators? i dunno. weird.

Chaise Lounge is at 309 Cortland Ave, San Francisco.

*v

there are some places in the world where you dont really need a car to get around. Sunnyvale is not one of them. being careless here in this large sprawling suburbia isn’t easy, especially when you’re girlfriend lives in a city that is an hour away by bus and when all of your friends live in San Francisco which is at least 1.5 hours away by a combo of bus/train. for the last few months i’ve been trying to get by bumming rides off of people, begging my parents to use the car, and by attempting public transport. if i was living in SF now, i dont think i would need a car as urgently, but living down here, my situation was grim.

during my trip, i had made up my mind that i would buy the cheapest car possible when i got back here. i hoped to buy a beater for under a thousand bucks and to run it into the ground until i desperately needed to buy something else. but, as time went on, i worried that buying an old piece of shite might be more trouble than it was worth if it ended up breaking down in 5 seconds flat. i decided that i’d put in the extra money and get something decent. not something new by any means… my plan was still to buy something super cheap, but something that was from 2002/2003.

trying to buy a used car was an insanely agonizing process for me. i’m one of the most indecisive people on the planet, and even tiny decisions like choosing what to eat at a restaurant are agonizingly difficult for me… i never seem to be able to settle on anything. so, trying to narrow down what brand i wanted, what year, what exact price, etc etc was utter torture. night and day i read about cars, looked at car ads, checked out car ratings, and stopped by dealerships. in the end, i decided that i would get a ford focus. everything i had read online had said that these cars were hella good despite being made by ford. of course, i still had some doubts, especially since pretty much every friend i had told me i was *nuts* to buy a ford.

after going on a few test-drives, i started realizing just why everyone hates car dealers. sure, some of them were actually allright, but a lot of them were the slimiest bastards you could ever imagine. every word that spills out of their mouth was either flat out bullshit or something used to kiss your ass. dealing with these people was exhausting and ridiculously frustrating. luckily, it wasn’t too long till i finally found the car i was going to buy. a 2003 light green ford focus. it only had 25k miles on it, excellent condition, and was still under warranty. quite a bargain for only nine grand. after driving all the way down to halfmoon bay a few times and investing a ton of time into this, i had my dad put money into my account to buy the car.

but at the last second, the deal fell through. it turned out, that the salesman had lied to me and told me the wrong price. we had a long argument over the phone where he told me everything he could to drag me into the dealership nonetheless, but i wouldn’t budge. i couldn’t believe it. i was literally *minutes* from buying this car, and now i wouldn’t get it. i was insanely pissed. after hanging up, i called back to talk to the manager. and the manager, no wait, the *owner* of the dealership, flat out lied to me on the phone. he told me that he had heard my conversation with the salesman when i was there and said that the salesman never made the offer that i *heard* him make. unfuckingbelievable. ok, i’m not surprised to have a salesman lie to me, but i couldn’t believe that the owner of “James Ford", who supposedly values the reputation of their dealership so much, could lie to me. dont ever buy a car from James Ford.

after all of this, i was back to square one. crap. unfortunately, now there was a new factor to consider. i had made the irreversible mistake of test-driving a couple new cars. oh man. slowly, all my resolve to buy a crazy cheap car was starting to crumble. i had been saying for ages how people in the states are way too materialistic, too obsessed with flashy cars etc, and waste too much money on them instead of using money for what’s really important… but all of a sudden my morals were disintegrating before my eyes. i mean… i could buy a new car if i didnt buy an *expensive* new car right? it’s not like i was dropping $40k on a bmw or something. i could spend $15k on a new compact car and not sacrifice all my values, right??! hrm.

in the end, my choice fell to two cars. the Ford Focus ST, which is the super fast version of the focus or the Mazda3. it was a really tough call… they’re both really nice cars. i liked the focus a lot… but as soon as i actually sat down and test-drove the Mazda, i was totally blown away by it. i felt like i was driving a little race car. this car looked ridiculously beautiful both inside and out. but… it was $2k more than the ford. i agonized for a few more days. i went to look at the focus, then the Mazda, then the focus, then the Mazda, and then the focus again.

finally, i made the choice. i picked the Mazda3. i just couldn’t resist that car. even after deciding, i still had a few doubts, but that’s just the way i am.. and i had to push them aside. i called my parents, who had graciously agreed to loan me money for the car so i wouldn’t have to pay financing charges. they drove down, and within an hour, i was the proud owner of my new car. unbelievable. to say that i was ecstatic would be an understatement.

i’m way psyched on this car. first off, it just looks so dope. i love the color and i love the styling. inside, i love the sporty way that the dash is laid out and the stereo looks cool too. also, i ended up getting the 2.3L version which has way more power. the first time i drove that car, i was practically flying. i hit 60 mph before i even got a chance to change out of second gear. the car is so damn fun to drive.

so that’s it. after 3 months of being back, i finally have a car of my own. i’ll be honest, there’s a tiny part of me that still wonders if i should have bought a beater car… but whatever, i love my new car. every time i walk out my door and look at it, it puts a smile on my face… and that counts for something.

*v

after being disappointed that Elixir was not a new bar, we headed out to place called Bender’s. walking inside, we were relieved that we didn’t recognize anything inside… surely a good sign that we had never been there before. From the first second, we liked this place more than the last bar. i dont know what it is about dive bars but there’s just something about them that is damn appealing. is it the seriously unpretentious atmosphere? is it that you feel like you can do whatever the hell you want and it’s ok? is it that the more low-key a place is, the more it is conducive to drinking? who knows and who really cares… all i know is that it works.

Bender’s had a similar atmosphere to Zeitgeist or Kilowatt. there were 2 pool tables, a pinball machine, and a jukebox filled with 99% heavy metal stuff. i tried to find something to play and could barely find anything i even recognized. i dunno if that’s a good thing, but it definitely matched the place’s atmosphere. they had Hoegaarden on tap, which as i’ve mentioned before, is definitely bonus points in my book. tom and i played pool and despite all of his bragging i almost beat him. man, if you’re not much better than me, than you must suck at pool!

the rest of the night was consumed by Natasha’s game. you know, that game where they show two half-naked people on either side of the screen and you are supposed to find what’s different about them. sheez… that game is so damn addictive. it’s so damn basic, it never really changes, and yet for some reason it’s practically impossible to drag yourself away. it just sucks the quarters right out of your pocket somehow.

eventually, we were able to drag ourselves out of the bar. we’ll definitely be coming back. cool bar, cheap drinks, and it’s a bit off to the side of the main Mission area which keeps it close to the action but a little secluded. plus, i totally love the name. really, what can be a more perfect name for a bar than Bender’s?

Bender’s is at 806 S Van Ness Ave in San Francisco

This new year’s resolution might end up being a lot harder than i thought it would be. first off, not living is SF makes it a lot more difficult to go out to bars there. second, it’s sometimes hard convincing others to go out to new bars. and third, something that i never considered before is that it might be hard to figure out which bars are new ones…

(it’s hard to keep my hands steady..)

Last week Tom, Natasha, and i went to a bar called Elixir. i read about it online and it sounded pretty cool. we get to the bar, order some drinks and only after a while do i all of a sudden think to myself “wait a minute… i’ve been here before!". yeah, it turns out that a few years ago, we had come to this bar on NYE for 15 or 20 minutes. i had totally forgotten about that. so, now i can’t count this bar. crap… i wonder how often this is going to happen? there probably have been many other bars that i’ve gone to on random drunken nights, when everything becomes a bit blurry, and names of bars become forgotten. how many bars have i been to that i just dont know about?!

Anyways, i may as well write about the Elixir anyways. actually, i think i’ll just write about all the bars i go to from now on, regardless if they make it into the fifty new bars category.

Elixir was a pretty cool place. very small, with pretty much only bar stools to sit on either at then bar or at high tables. the vibe was pretty relaxed and the crowd was an odd mix of dive bar patrons and people dressed really nice wearing suits. the thing that i thought was pretty interesting about this place was that on Wednesday nights, anyone can be a guest bartender. basically, they sign up for a certain night, and are expected to try to get hella people to come to the bar. then, on the Wednesday you chose, you come and bartend with up to 4 of your friends. half of the tips made that night then go to a charity of your choice. i think that’s a pretty cool idea… it would be so fun to serve drinks one night at bar. the guest bartender that night was pretty crazy… spilling drinks all over the place, screaming at people, dropping the girl he worked with on the floor, and convincing me to drink some random monkey drink that i have no clue what was in it.

One thing that’s pretty crazy about Elixir is that it’s super old. i guess the place has been around for like 130 years. Other than that, i can’t really think of anything notable about the place. it was chill and seemed like a good place to hang out, but nothing crazy special. after a few drinks, we headed out to another bar…

Elixir is at 3200 16th Street in San Francisco

on Saturday evening, i went out to dinner with my cousin. we went to We Be Sushi which was pretty damn good for inexpensive sushi. after dinner, when we drove back to Natasha’s house, the house was dark… apparently her roommates must have been out. i walked up the stairs, and just as i was entering the living room, i noticed Dan huver and rob sitting there on a bench. WTF? what the hell were they doing at Natasha’s house? and what the hell were they doing sitting there quietly in the dark? for a second there, i felt like i had just walked into a dream or something… where weird inexplicable things happen that just make *zero* sense.

after a brief confused pause, i ascended the last few steps and then things got even weirder. there were other people in the room. lots of them. a bunch of people just standing there in the dark. ummm…. huh? seconds later, the lights flicked on and everyone was yelling “SURPRISE!” at the top of their lungs and shooting those little confetti poppers all over. i stood there, blinking, still trying to figure out what the hell was going on. was i just imagining this? had i finally lost my sanity? were these people really here? and if so, then why? wait a minute… is this some kind of bizarre very late welcome home party? i just didnt get it.

finally, everything was explained to me.. this was a surprise party to celebrate my “half birthday", the date right in between my last bday and my next upcoming one. my last birthday had been miserable. caryn and i had ended up in Moyale, a crap town on the border of Ethiopia and Kenya. we had been on a bus all night, and were exhausted, dusty, dirty, and it was super hot. we spent all day shuffling back and forth trying to get all of our documents in order for the border crossing the next day. i had no email access and so i couldn’t get in touch w/ any family/friends from back home. basically, it was the worst possible birthday ever.

in order to make things better, caryn planned this surprise “half birthday” party to make up for the birthday i never had last august. she invited all of my friends, had my cousin divert me from her house, and then set everything up. crazy eh? i had never had a surprise party before and even after i found out what was going on, i still was totally shocked for at least the next half hour. it was all just such a surprise!! i mean, who would expect a surprise party 6 months after/before their bday?

the rest of the evening was hella fun. the party had an international theme, and people had brought all sorts of appetizers and different alcohols to make new drinks. kim made this awesome cake. but most of all it was just fun to hang out with everybody. that’s what birthdays are all about kinda.

all in all i was really blown away by the whole thing. it was just so touching that caryn had gone through all that trouble to throw me a birthday party to make up for a crappy birthday that i had pretty much forgotten all about. it was just another random day and that day was turned into such an awesome surprise. best “half birthday” *ever*!

*v

as of last week, i am once again a member of the working world. i was surprised to find that the company i used to work for asked me to come work for them again. i worked there as one out of only 2 engineers, and when i had left there, they hired a replacement for me. due to the tiny budget that their engineering department runs on i had been fairly sure that they would not be hiring a 3rd engineer to work for them, so i never even considered asking them for a job. then, out of the blue, i got an email asking me to come work for them.

I’ll be honest, at first i was a bit hesitant to go work there again. i had worked there for 5 years before my trip, and now i was kind of hoping to start something totally new and fresh. 5 years is a long time to be in one job, and the thought of doing something different sounded really appealing. but, after thinking about it for a bit, i took the job.

first of all, i got hired on as a full time contractor instead of a salaried employee. this is actually what i wanted because it gives me a lot of freedom there and i can make my own hours, take extra time off if needed and also could potentially do contract work at another company for part of the week. this works out really well since i could be trying out new jobs, getting different experience, and broadening my skills, while at the same time having a steady income from my company.

second of all, there are a lot of good things about the job i left. the people there are hella cool and fun to work with. pretty much everyone there is fairly young and into mountain biking/snow boarding/photography and other cool things. also, i know the job inside and out so it was super easy for me to slide right back into work. at another job, it would have taken me ages to catch up to speed with how things work, but here it took me less than half a day to get back into the swing of things. it’s amazing how fast things come back to you.

it’s pretty weird working again. after spending 16 month with no job and not a care in the world, it’s a bit difficult to actually have daily duties and obligations.

*v

the other day i took the bus again. after last week’s bus adventure, i assumed that today would be just a boring day on the bus. but, no.

everything started out with me accidentally taking the wrong bus (apparently the 81 sometimes doesn’t go all the way to Sunnyvale). after getting off the bus, i waited for the next one. by random coincidence, i ended up waiting with this guy who I’m almost positive was the guy yelling in the back of the bus last time. while sitting around, this guy told me about how god gets upset with people who have sex before marriage. apparently this guy is currently abstinent after going to prison for a few months, then getting out, then going back to prison again, and then getting out again. I’m still not sure how the prison and abstinence tie together.

when we got on the bus, he met up with his friends and spent the next 20 minutes discussing: stealing stereos, being in prison, selling weed to cops, being on parole, and other such things. I’ve never been to prison, and neither have my friends really, so it’s kinda weird to think that there are so many people out there that have been to prison multiple time, all of their friends have been to prison multiple times, and there is most probably prison in the future for them as well. prison is just a totally normal fixture in their lives just like taking a trip somewhere is for us, while for us going to prison seems like a totally crazy and extreme thing.

i spent 14 month traveling the world and seeing how different the lives are of people in different countries… but sometimes it’s pretty mind-boggling just how different the lives we lead are from the people who are right next door.

*v