13 conversations

a couple of nights ago, i saw the movie “13 conversations about one thing”. the movie was made up of several loosely intertwined stories that showed differing viewpoints on happiness and what it means to people. i gotta say that this was definitely one of the better movies i have seen in a long time. it was very interesting, thought provoking, and emotionally powerful. it really hammers in the point that your happiness and fate are really what you make of them.

i’ve been watching a lot of Survivor recently (yeah, i’m pretty addicted), and find it so funny how Rupert is having such a different experience on the island than everyone else. most of the castaways see living on the island as an ordeal that they have to struggle through. they constantly are depressed and complaining about lack of food, shelter, and whatnot. on the other hand, Rupert is just looking at it as an incredible vacation in an exotic locale. he is loving every minute of it. one man’s hell is another’s heaven.

of course, for most people, no matter how happy and excitable they may be, the amount of fun and interest that situations bring about also depend on the newness of the situation. things that at one point excite and interest people to no end, eventually usually fizzle out after being experienced a ton of times. humanity’s constant striving and searching for something better and new may have helped us over the centuries as a species, but in a lot of ways i find it really really sad how we can never be satisfied. we can spend months anticipating something: that new house, a drivers license, whatever…. and soon enough we couldn’t care any less about it.

i once read an article about a wandering group of refugees in Sudan. these people had lived their whole life in the hot climate of africa and had never experienced modern technology. these people had never experienced cold. yes, cold. they did not know the meaning of cold. all temperatures they had ever experienced ranged from warm to hot. the article describes how the refugees, upon arriving at a red cross shelter, were given a iced beverage form the refrigerator. they were totally amazed and shocked. could you imagine that? cold is something we *completely* take for granted. everyone knows what that means. but what if that was a new and exciting sensation to be experienced? something totally unheard of and enthralling. it must be the most amazing and crazy feeling in the world to feel something cold for the first time.

if something as trivial and mundane as coldness can be new and exciting for someone, it really makes you think about how everything around us must be interesting for at least *someone* out there. i’ve driven the commute from SJ to SF a kajillion times. maybe even more. everyone takes that drive for granted and grumbles about it. but i always try to stop and think about how for someone who’s never driven it, it’s probably a very scenic and nice drive. and shit, for someone who’s just gotten their license, driving that route (or *any* route) is an exhilarating adventure. i’ve gone to santa cruz a ton of times too, and yes it’s fun, but i always try to wonder what it must be like for people who have never seen an ocean before. someone who came from kansas or something; someone who, during their life, has seen pretty much nothing but flat plains… and all of a sudden you stumble upon this incredible gigantic mass of blue unlike anything you’ve ever seen.

the list goes on and on. imagine seeing the snow when your whole life has been lived in a hot climate. or flying in an airplane when you’ve never known what it’s like to be a million feet in the air. or taking an escalator if you’ve lived your whole life in cambodia and haven’t ever seen such a weird crazy thing. all these things can be so new and thrilling…. and yet for the most part, we dont let them be that way. it’s always “shit, i can’t stand this 9 hour flight, when is this damn thing gonna land” or “goddamn, it snowed again, i can’t believe i have to shovel that crap” or “sheez, why is this stupid escalator so crowded”.

we rush through our lives treating everything like a hassle or inconvenience. anything that isn’t new or rare goes by either unnoticed or unappreciated. there’s so much stuff out there… so much *not new* stuff. so many things that are just begging to be enjoyed. we rush by those things, constantly searching for something more exciting than the last thing we tried. something flashy.. something cool… whatever. we just keep on searching for that ever elusive thing that’ll make us happy when we just need to realize that we can make *ourselves* happy by enjoying what we have.. because it’s really only the perception of what we experience that is important.

-v