Yesterday a bunch of my friends and i went down to the candid club. It’s a bikini bar in a crappy strip mall in Sunnyvale. We didn’t go there to gawk at half naked girls… instead we came to visit Helen who had just gotten a job there. well, ok, maybe we were hoping to do a bit of gawking, but it was much more of a “whoa! i cant believe someone i know works here!” kind of gawking, and not the drool running down the face lecherous old man kind of gawking.
Let me tell ya, the candid club is no fancy artsy strip club. it’s a hole in the wall. tiny, dark, dingy… it’s just a small room with a few (5 or 6) scattered dudes sitting all alone at tables. honestly the whole place just looked… sad. and then we saw helen. holy shit. so umm… this wasn’t the same helen that we’ve know for years. First off, she looked incredibly tall on her 8 inch high heels. Second off, she was wearing next to nothing. And then to top it off, she had just gotten double D implants which you just couldn’t help but notice.
The next hour was spent with all of us crowding around helen asking her hundreds of questions. personal questions. questions about salaries, bouncers, operations, pole tricks, and everything in between. i mean, i’m sure everyone has questions in their mind about strippers and boobjobs and other crazy shit that they will probably never find out the answers to. well, now was everyone’s chance to find out. so the questions poured out, and helen fielded ’em all. boobs were poked to determine firmness. basically it was all pretty crazy… but then…
helen went onstage. dude, this was when things got even weirder. so now, we’re all sitting around the stage watching… and everyone totally felt so weird. i mean, we wanna watch.. that’s why we’re here. but at the same time.. we so don’t want to watch!! it’s so uncomfortable. we can’t figure out, do we laugh, do we not laugh, do we look, not look, pay attention, not pay attention?? just what is the protocol for this situation? so, the thing is helen wants to be watched. that’s why she got the job. she loves it. she wants the attention, the stares, all of it. and yet… when someone you’ve know as a friend for over 7 years shoves her dental floss covered ass towards your face… you cant help but feeling like you really really just should *not* be seeing this.
after helen’s performance, we all chat briefly and then leave. whatta crazy night! we all wonder how long she’s gonna keep at this. It’s weird… people always think of strippers as sad sad girls who got forced into the trade trying to escape total poverty. but that’s really not the case here. helen has another job that pays her well, is well educated, etc etc. she’s just stripping cause she loves it. she looked so psyched up there. totally ecstatic to be doing what she does. i guess we’ll see what happens next….