ThisIsVlad

I woke up crazy early to catch the morning train outta Lanzhou. This was going to be my first time (of many) navigating the China train system and I wasnt 100% sure what to expect. The Chinese railway is pretty amazing. There are a ton of routes all over China and a lot of them have high speed trains, some of them going up to 200mph. Again, this is another area where i wonder… why the hell is the US so far behind? Our public transportation is horrible and we have so few routes. The fact that you cant even take Bart from SF to one of the nearest big cities, San Jose, is ridiculous.

Luckily for non-Mandarin speakers like me, there a few websites here where you can buy train tickets online. This is a lifesaver as you need to specify which cities you are traveling between, figure out what times are available, choose a seat type (they have 5 different types ranging from standing room only, to hard seats, to sleeper bunks), and then check availability for each of your choices. Often times i had to navigate this process like 20 times, checking different possible routes, and various options till i found the perfect one. There is no way in hell i could have done this in person when nobody speaks English.

Once you have a ticket, this is only step one in the process. You need to go to the station and pick up your ticket. If you have a Chinese ID, you can use self-serve automated machines, but otherwise you need to queue up at a teller. I get to the station with about an hour to spare, and almost immediately realize that i am screwed. The lines are crazy long and the station is absolutely chaos. It’s a struggle for me to even figure out what line to go in as some lines are for refunds only. I get in a long ass line and slowly wait for it to move. Time is ticking. And ticking. I am starting to panic. Finally I get to the front w/ only minutes to spare. I pick up my ticket, but i still need to find my platform. I look at the display (photo below) of trains and it’s a huge struggle to figure out where to go.

Of course, i miss my train. Now i need to get in a new line to exchange my ticket. There is even more chaos here because everyone who is in this line trying to get an exchange is pissed off and yelling. Eventually, when i am almost at the front, the line closes and now i have to change to another line, starting over again. 10 minutes later, the first line reopens, and once again i am screwed. i miss the next train and the one after it as well. I am obviously pissed at this point, but eventually i get a ticket on the noon train. Good thing i got up at 7am for this.

I haver a little time to kill now. Everyone you ask has nothing good to say about the town i’m in (Lanzhou).. but there is one that it is famous for and that is LaMian, the beef noodles. As i mentioned, this is a Muslim area, so not much pork here, and they make these amazing hand pulled noodles with a spicy beef soup. Seriously, literally every single person that i told that i was coming here, said “ohhh. yes… the beef noodles”. They are *that* famous. These days, you can find LaMian all over China, but everyone says that its not nearly as good as if you get it from this town. Anyways, with a little time to kill, i got to try these world famous noodles. And they were *fantastic*. The texture of hand pulled noodles is so perfectly chewy, and the spicy broth was so damn good. In the end, missing all those trains turned out to be a good thing. Also, for those back home, coincidentally, just a month ago the Sf Chronicle had an article about a new place that opened up in the bay area that actually has a good rendition of these special noodles (in Fremont). Check it out!

Eventually, I was able take my train…

After checking in at my hotel, i went out to grab some food. There is a big night market here with a long string of vendors selling all sorts of vatrious eats. A lot of the people in this town are Hui, who are Muslim, so there is not so much pork here, but lots of lamb. As i wandered the stalls, there was a fascinating array of food. Big bins filled with snails, shrimp, and other seafood. Gigantic cauldrons with crazy skulls simmering away in various liquids. Bones and other mysterious animal parts. It was endlessly fascinating, yet i was pretty hesitant to try any of it. I feel like i’m a pretty adventurous eater, but this was definitley pushing me out of my comfort zone. I eventually got this pita type thing that was filled with a tasty meat/pepper filling, a flat bread (that i thought was just bread but turned out to have somrething, no clue what, inside it), and washed it down with a “refreshing” room temerature beer.

It was a nice introduction to this area. Already, things felt so much different than Eastern China. Also, it was much much cooler here than it had been in Beijing. It was so nice to get out of that crazy heat. If only I had a jacket… it could actually be helpful here 😕.

My first stop in the Hexi Corridor would be Lanzhou, the capitol of Gansu Province. Being so far from Beijing, i flew there to save time. I have always been kind of fascinated by airplane food. All the little compartments and tiny little packages… and how surprisingly awful the food always is. How do they make it so awful?! On my flight i was handed a tray that had a steamed bun, a weird red packet of who knows what, and a freaky looking vacuum sealed brown egg. Ok, this may be the most random airplane meal i have gotten yet. It turns out that the red packet was filled with pickled bamboo shoot slivers that you can put onto your steamed bun (which was filled with a tasty ground pork filling). The egg, though freaky looking, tasted… well, pretty much just like a normal egg, though with a slightly odd texture. All in all, it was actually pretty good for an airplane meal.

My flight wasn’t super long and soon i landed in Lanzhou. Let the adventure begin!! I went to go pick up my luggage… umm… no luggage. WTF. I waited and waited expectantly hoping that it would come out eventually. I went and checked all the other conveyor belts. But no, my luggage was fucking gone. Unfuckingbelievable. I went to talk to the woman at the counter… who of course spoke no English.

Luckily, she called someone who worked for the airline and then handed the phone to me. I told him my luggage was gone and he said he would try to get it back to me tomorrow if they can find it. The problem is, I wasn’t going to be there the next day. I was taking the first train out of town in the morning and was only passing through Lanzhou because of its airport. Ok, where was i staying tomorrow? Again, problematically, I hadnt booked a hotel for the next town yet, so I had no answer for that either. In the end, he took down my email address and said that if they find it, they will send it to the next town for me to pick up.

Yeah… right. What are the odds of them even finding the luggage. And if they did, i really had no faith that they would actually bother forwarding it on to the right place and then actually contacting me. I was fucked. Truly fucked. Other than being injured, this was a traveler’s worst nightmare. I now had no clothing. No toiletries. I didnt even have my only jacket as i had put it in my suitcase. All i had was my passport/wallet, phone, and camera. If this had happened late in the trip, it may have been at least better… but this was day 4 of 14 days. Crap.

After spending a few days in Beijing, it was time for me to move on to my next stop. My next stop is the Hexi Corridor in Gansu Province. Most people outside of China haven’t even heard of this place, and even people here would look at me quizzically and ask why i was going to this tiny remote province that was well off the typical tourist highlights.

The Hexi Corridor is a narrow little sliver of a path that connects what used to be China in the East and Central Asia in the West. It was the main artery of the Silk Road and is bordered by the huge mountains of the Tibetan Plateau to the South and by the barren Gobi Desert to the North. Because of the brutal conditions in both directions, this narrow passage was the only way for traders to get into or out of China. It was extremely remote (still kind of is) and was dotted with tiny little oasis towns where caravans could stop before they continued onward.

Nowadays, China has spread and owns territory far south, north, and west of there, but back then this was the last stretch for Chinese traders before they left China and were out in the great beyond. The thought of these small caravans, wandering for months in desolate areas, going to places that most people of the time had only heard in legends, bravely traveling beyond anything that was ever familiar to them is so incredibly fascinating to me. Really excited to experience that trail myself!

This will be tricky travel though. In Beijing, very few people spoke English, but in Gansu pretty much nobody does. On a the forums, people warn that if you don’t speak at least some Mandarin, you’re going to be in for a tough time. On top of that, there is an interesting mix of people there… Uygurs of Central Asia, Tibetans, Muslim Hui, and Mongolians… so some of the people don’t even speak Mandarin. But I think I can handle it ( I hope). Excited to explore China’s wild west!

One of the dishes that Beijing is known for is Zhajiang Mian, a noodle dish with fried ground pork and fermented soybean paste that is topped with pickled cucumber, radish, and possibly other vegetables. Legend has it that while in exile, the Emperor’s eunich servant found this dish by following the scent to a small noodle restaurant. I imagine him flying through the air, following the scent like a character in the old cartoons from back in the day… but that might not be 100% historically accurate.

This was one of the dishes i definitely wanted to try while here, and i had read that there was one restaurant in particular that was popular for it (apparently Joe Biden ate here when he was in China). I set off trying to find it, but again, this is China, so nothing is easy. There was no exact address for it, just a street name and a vague vicinity where it should be. I found a spot that looked right and wander in. It’s a small hole in the wall locals only kind of place. As typical, i am ignored by everyone and just stand there looking confused for a while. I’m feeling super awkward, and a big part of me just wants to bolt and go elsewhere. Eventually, i look up the Chinese characters for the restaurant online and show them to a gruff angry looking woman, while looking questioningly and pointing. She nods. Ok, good. I am in the right spot at least.

I sit down at a table. Some time goes by and i realize nobody is waiting tables. It looks like you need to go to some counter, put in your order, and then pick up your food at a different counter across the way. There is no English menu and no pictures to point at. How am i going to navigate this? Again, i resist the urge to just awkwardly slink out. I do some googling and am able to find the Chinese characters for the dish i want on Wikipedia. I show the disinterested looking guy at the first counter and he nods. Success!

I take my receipt to this other counter. While standing there waiting, i see lots of people picking up these tasty looking dumplings. I want to try some, but have no clue what they are called, nor how i could describe/explain them to the guy at the counter across the room. I was about to resign myself to not getting dumplings, when i have an idea. I get my phone ready, and when i see the next customer pick up some dumplings, i quickly snap a photo of the dumplings, much to her confusion. I then walk back to the first counter and show the guy my photo, and so am able to order some dumplings.

In the end, I was super happy. Not just because the noodles and dumplings were fucking delicious (and only cost 3$ total), but also because i was able to push through my discomfort and didnt give up. I’m somehow guessing that Joe Biden didnt have quite as difficult of a time while getting his noodles 🙂.

After wandering around in the blazing hot sun, i needed to take a break and get out of the heat.. preferably somewhere where i can also get a drink. I read about this place called Mao Mao Chong in the guidebook and set out to find it, but as everything has been here in China, it wasn’t so easy. When i arrived at the address listed in the book, there was nothing to be seen. I wandered back and forth down the street, and just as i was about to give up, i noticed this little alley that cut from the street. When i looked down the alley, there didnt appear to really be anything, just a few rusted doors, but at the last minute, i noticed that one of them had “MMC” written next to it.

I stood there hesitantly as there was no indication that this was for sure the right spot, or that the door lead to anything, and if it did, that the place was open. I didnt want to just barge in. As i stood there, someone walked out of the door and started fiddling w/ a trash can. You would think that seeing me standing there, looking confused, he would have acknowledged me in some way, but he proceeded to totally ignore me until i finally waved to him and then pointed questioningly towards the door while saying “Mao Mao Chong?”. He nodded, with zero trace of emotion or caring whether i came in or not, and went on about his duties.

This has been a bit of a bummer while traveling here. While some people have been indeed incredibly nice, welcoming, and helpful… there have been a lot of people that really dont seem to care less about you whatsoever. You would think that if you saw a confused looking foreigner standing a couple yards from the door of your business, that you would at least attempt to usher them in, or help out, or… i dunno… anything?? Now, i am not a novice traveler by any means. I’ve done more traveling than a lot of people and have been to a shitload of countries, so I feel like i have enough experience to say that out of most countries out there, China is definitely one of the more confusing places to travel and also one of the not so welcoming ones. Of course, this is not a blanket statement as I’ve had some *terrific* interactions with people here who have gone above and beyond to be kind and helpful.

Anyways, I wander in and find myself in a wonderful little cocktail bar. There is a huge assortment of liquor here as you would find in any western bar, and the cocktail menu actually has English translations of the drinks. I ordered a couple of cocktails.. a spicy tequila based drink and a Moscow Mule with chilis. Both of them were delicious, and especially as I was practically melting from the heat outside, the ice cold cocktails (and air conditioning) were incredibly nice.

This turned out like a lot of my experiences in China… difficult, confusing, but in the end, rewarding and great.

Great Leap is a popular brewery here in Beijing. The beers are pretty tasty and they even have one made with Sichuan peppercorns. They also have an awesome outdoor courtyard which is perfect for relaxing with a beer

Yes, I’ve been loving the dumplings in Beijing! Also, this is to show Jamie that I actually ate a vegetable at one point in the trip! 🤣

My favorite thing to get at dim sum is soup dumplings. One of the places here in the hutongs sells massive soup dumplings that are so big that you drink the soup through a straw. People were queueing up for it like crazy, so I got one to try. It was indeed massive. But overall, thought it was tasty, I think just regular soup dumplings are better.

Even for people who know nothing about China, they have probably heard of the Great Wall. The Great Wall of China is not only the most famous thing here, but one of the most famous things in the world. Like the pyramids in Egypt or the Coliseum in Rome, it’s one of those things that you learn about as a kid and is unforgettable. It’s on pretty much any top 10 list. Being here, I was incredibly thrilled to be able to go see it.

The wall was started being built in 220 BC and was absolutely massive at 13,000 miles long. It was used to keep out invaders back in the day, but after it stopped being used, lots of it crumbled and got overtaken by wilderness. It’s no longer one big wall, but many sections of wall with some of them in better condition than others. Oh, and would you believe that it’s the only man made thing that you can see from outer space? I hope not, because that’s actually not true. You can’t see the wall from space.

Anyways, several of the sections of wall that you can see are near Beijing. The closest section to town is the one that most people see, but everything I’ve read is that it is pretty awful. For one thing, most of it is “reconstructed” (aka fake) and also there are mobs of tourists everywhere. Instead you can go see the “wild wall” which is chunks of wall farther out. That wall is mostly the real deal and there ware way fewer people.

I set out super early in the morning and in typical fashion almost missed my tour. When we got to Gubeikou, it was lightly raining and super misty so it was kind of tough to see. We trekked up the hill a bit and after a while got to the wall.

The wall was fucking amazing! It was so incredible to be up there and see this thing that is such an iconic sight. We walked along the wall and, as advertised, there really were not that many people there. As you walk the wall, you hit a series of watchtowers that you scramble through. Eventually, some of the mist burned off and the views were even more breathtaking… You could see for days and the wall just stretched on forever and ever.

After 5km, we were given a choice of either going down to the bus or continuing on for another 1km. Most people gave up at this point, but I continued. At this point, there were lots of stretches where I was literally the only person I could see. All was quiet and it was just me, hiking on top of the Great Wall of China. Such a surreal moment. I took about a zillion photos.

Afterwards, we got fed a *massive* amount of Chinese food. We were all pretty much starving after the hike, so food an beer was so nice.